I’m Anxious & Depressed…

…And so, I’m taking anti-anxiety/depression medication.  It’s new.  I’m new to this type of medication.  I’m new to medicine in general.

This gal (me) has lived over 50 years without needing medicine for much.  I have always been healthy.  I got hurt at work (read about it at my Unlit Cigarette blog) and so it exacerbated my depression.

That, and a few other things in my life.  But, enough about me.

Did you know that anxiety and depression affects around 18.1% of the population?  There are so many interesting facts I found here at Anxiety and Depression Association of America.

My daughter and son both have anxiety and depression.  My son also has OCD and TS.  It can be genetic.  I just never realized I suffered from anxiety and depression.  I always thought I was just “sad” or not handling things.  I’d let things slide.  I’ve had panic attacks, but never thought much about it.  Certain things happened and I needed to simply handle them better.  That was my thought process.  Be strong and positive.

It wasn’t until I thought I was having a heart attack while at work, and they called the paramedics.  (It was quite embarrassing.)  My blood pressure rose to around 158/95 and my pulse was racing.  My left arm was numb and tingling and my left chest had these small pains.  The top of my head throbbed with a headache and my left jaw was sore.  All things that can be explained away.

I really thought I was having a heart attack.  It was probably because I watched Grey’s Anatomy and one of the recent shows the heavier woman, Miranda Bailey, had a heart attack and didn’t have any real signs of a heart attack.  Women present differently while having a heart attack.  On the episode of GA, the male doctor’s, of course, thought because she’s overweight, that it was just a weight problem, or the fact she was anxious, that it was psychological.  All of these crossed my mind, as I sat there being looked over by the paramedics.  They even did a quick little EKG on me.

They offered to give me a ride to the hospital, but I declined.  It cost around $800-$1,000 for that ride.  Some would say your health is worth more than that, but they don’t have my bank account.

I decided I would simply go to the emergency room if I felt worse.  I didn’t feel worse and continued working through the night.

The next day I found a doctor on my health plan and made an appointment.  I still wasn’t feeling quite “right…?”  I felt exhausted and tired so I took off a day of work, and went to the doctor the next day.  I just was “out of it.”  I guess, that’s the best way to put it.

I went to the doctor and he was very keen to find out my mental state, and not look into my actually having a heart attack.  I never had high blood pressure in my past, but now I have high blood pressure and I don’t really know why.  Other than, I’m in a state of anxiety and depression these days?  I am around 25 pounds overweight.  (I’ve lost over 12 pounds without trying recently.)

I’m no doctor, so I’m just not sure what’ going on.  I do have a lot of stuff on my plate so I’m sure that has caused my blood pressure to spike upward and my anxiety is something I’ve always had.  I’m a bit neurotic.

I just didn’t realize I had anxiety and depression.

So, I will try out this new medication and see if I feel any better.  I’ll see the doctor in a few weeks and get a physical.  I do feel a bit better, and so let’s hope for the best.

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