Books and Such…

[I placed this on my other blog, but decided to place it here as well.]

I’ve written a few novels (eight or more, actually) in my life.  Writing a book is truly a wasteful endeavor.  You are simply spinning your wheels to write something no one should read.  Or, so you think….

You write and write for months and years a book.  It’s finished and you look over the story and realize… this book sucks.  What was I thinking?  It’s got too much of this, and not enough of that, and what the hell did I just waste my time writing?  What the hell did I just spend 8,640 hours on?  This could actually take another 17,280 or more hours stuck in research and development – my laptop.

All that research and effort, and time I don’t have, and the constant mind-altering state of envisioning the scene and realizing it doesn’t make sense.  It makes it so that you are never truly present with the people in your life, because your mind is on that stupid scene. That scene that just became a giant plot hole.  You’ve just written a really dumb book!

The character is uneven.  I just think this character makes some really lousy decisions for her life.  Are they even realistic?  Are they likable?  All these peripherals like cell phones, and clothing choices, and remembering names, hair, eye color, height, and remembering if what was mentioned in chapter two was mentioned later in chapter 20, or vice versa.

Time gaps!  Oh my goodness!  The month, the season, the time of day, and do they all coordinate to keep the reader in the story, or have you just lost them because in one chapter it was spring and the next it’s winter, or in one its morning and suddenly it’s dusk.

What the hell were you thinking?

I have all this fear.

Fear.

Fear is my greatest enabler for never stepping out and trying to be published.

And so, I wrote these dumb books.

It’s so silly.  I actually enjoyed writing them.  I really did.  I fell in love with some of my characters – who were really a part of me tucked away in there.  All my darkest parts and all my brightest.  Some characters, well they were people I’ve met and observed, or thought over after watching a show or the news.  Some are like distant relatives you meet and think, “they have the traits of a great character in a book.”

We all have so many layers inside.  We have layers we will never discover.  It takes years and years of constant searching.  Madeline L’Engle once wrote one of my favorite quotes:

“The great thing about getting older is that you don’t lose all the other ages you’ve been.”

I enjoy writing the more recent books, because the more I read and wrote in my life, the easier it became.  The more enjoyable it became.  I had more life to share and write about.

And so, if you write.  If you write books, or stories, or poetry, or anything really.  If you love to read books.  If the written word is your passion, step out.

Don’t let fear hold you back.

I let it rule over me, much too much.

And honestly, over half are worth throwing in a dumpster, but the other few are quite nice.

Please visit my stories.  I’ve decided to update weekly.  I write everything from humor to drama, fantasy to horror and suspense, and even a little crime, erotica, and romance. Mostly, I love a good soapy romance.

I hope at the end of the book I told a good story.  I hope if you read that you will leave a comment or message me and let me know how I can improve.  I appreciate good critiques.

Thank you for reading and I hope you the best possible day!

 

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